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Representative Peter King's House committee on home grown terrorism will be investigating a Long Island knitting club for making homemade Afghans. |
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Rep. King Investigates Long Island Knitting Club
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 10:37 AM 0 comments
Labels: Humor, Peter King, Politics, Satire
Monday, January 14, 2008
Muse Party taps Mark the Muse for Presidential Bid
by: Matt Muse - Guest Columnist
January 12, 2008
CINCINNATI - Today the Muse Party (Mark's Unmitigated Search (for) Ego) announced it's selection of Mark the Muse as it's candidate for President. When asked why MtM was selected, the party chairwomen Ms. Musette stated,
"Mark has spent a lifetime on a never ending search to satisfy his unquenchable ego. Because of his devotion to this single cause, we could not think of a more experienced or deserving candidate."
The Muse Party, new on the political scene, has never endorsed a person for the presidency before Mr. Muse. When asked why he was tapped to be their first presidential candidate Mark replied,
"I think my selfish dedication to ego fulfilment and my never ending attempts to steal the spotlight from others proves I have the experience, grit, and determination to run for the presidency. And geeeze, how would nominating someone else satisfy MY ego. Man, that was a really dumb question."
I asked Mark if he has formed a campaign committee and written any position papers on the top issues of the day.
"A campaign committee? Why would I want to do that? Have a bunch of people distracting me with their thoughts and ideas. I know what I want and I know what needs to be done. This campaign is about ME, not anyone else."
"As to the issues of the day, I will be presenting my thoughts on the economy, abortion, the war in Iraq, illegal immigration, you know stuff like that."
When can we expect to hear from you on these topics?
"Hey man. One thing at a time. I just got this nomination. If I started thinking about all that important stuff, it would kill the moment. Right now I just want to enjoy my 15 minutes of fame and bask in the limelight."
One more question Mr. Muse. Why did you choose the "V" sign for your campaign logo, and what's up with the band-aids?
"You know Matt, your really starting to annoy me. That was two questions you asked. If you weren't my cousin this interview would be over right now."
Mark don't forget, this interview could be read by tens of thousands of readers. Well, maybe ten people.
"Ten thousand people? Wow. I can feel the love already."
The "V" sign stands for two things, "V" for victory, and "V" for peace. I know this is going to be a ruff-and-tumble contest, so the "V" for peace is to remind people to take it easy on me. And the "V" victory, well with my big fat ego, I can't loose."
As to the band-aids, let me put it this way. I was preparing my acceptance speech, and as I so often do, I had my head up my ass. And at the same time my nose started to itch. It was a really ugly scene, although the paramedics got a big kick out of it. Let's just leave it at that."
My interview with Mr. Muse came to an abrupt end when the Seahawks/Packers game started.
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 6:19 AM 1 comments
Friday, December 14, 2007
Question The Candidates - Made In The USA ?
In the presidential campaign you hear every candidate speak about American workers, American jobs going overseas, and U.S. trade policies.
So my first question is "who to believe"? I think a good place to start is find out what the candidates sell for gear. Most (but not all) candidate's websites have an online store to buy "goodies".
I checked 15 online candidates stores on December 14, 2007 and here are the results:
Good Guys:
Fred Thompson - all products made in the USA
Mitt Romney - all products proudly made in USA
Rudy Giuliani - all products made in USA
Barack Obama - All of our products are union and USA made and produced. (have uswa logo)
Questionable:
John Edwards - some products are union made union printed, some are union made in USA
Dennis Kucinich - Union made and Union printed in the USA. Union Made In The U.S.A. Union Made
Bill Richardson - Your one stop shopping center for quality Union Made and Union Printed
Bad Guys (and girl):
Hillary Clinton
Ron Paul
Tom Tancredo
Mike Huckabee
These four candidates have nothing to indicate made in USA or union made!
Five candidates have no store on their website - Joe Biden, John McCain, Chris Dodd, and Duncan Hunter
Now my second question is to Hillary, Ron, Tom, and Mike WHAT GIVES! It appears you talk a good game but do not put your money where your mouth is.
Muses note: This blog entry was proudly made in the USA.
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 7:39 PM 0 comments
Labels: Commentary, Politics
Monday, December 10, 2007
Top Huckabee Aid Promises NIE Report
Today Mike Huckabee's top political advisor delivers his long awaited report on AIDS, and promises to have the NIE report on Iran completed before Armageddon.
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 10:26 PM 0 comments
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Mitch and Harry - The Nothing Twins
The Senate is back from their Thanksgiving break, and has picked up right where they left off, doing NOTHING.
Mitch blames Harry and the democrats.
Harry blames Mitch and the republicans.
I blame them both. They both lie, spin, and tell half-truths. What we (Harry, Mitch, and me) all agree on is NOTHING IS GETTING DONE.
My solution, a civilian surge. Contact your representatives in Washington, and make these "leaders" understand that we deserve and demand better from OUR elected officials. Their childish bickering will no longer do.
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 3:40 AM 0 comments
Labels: Commentary, Politics
Saturday, December 1, 2007
A Holiday Eggnog For Politicians
Politicians are always trying to "position" themselves on the issues. So, in the spirit of the season, here is my little gift to them. (with step-by-step instructions, because without instructions I am sure they will mess this up)
1) Remove lid from blender.
2) Add eggnog to blender.
3) Add food coloring. Add blue to be liberal, red to be conservative, or both to be moderate. Note: The more you add of either color the stronger your position.
4) Turn on blender.
PRESTO! You have just blended the perfectly positioned holiday eggnog.
Muse's Note: If you were to stupid to replace the lid on the blender before you turned it on, then your to stupid to get my vote.
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 4:25 AM 1 comments
Thursday, November 29, 2007
The Perfect Christmas Gift For Hillary
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 7:37 PM 0 comments
Why Won't Romney Lie To A Terrorist?
This comment was posted in Jonathan Martin's blog Spin Away @ Politico.com (about the Republican YouTube debate) - "McCain took Romney to task on the torture question (a reference to waterboarding), and while Mitt had a good point that you don't put everything on the table (no president has before, McCain wants to be the first) but he wasn't forceful enough on the issue, didn't cite good examples and let him take it." posted by : bigmo November 28, 2007 at 11:52 PM
What is up with this flat out dodging of a simple yes / no question by answering "don't put everything on the table". This is straight out of the Hillary playbook in the chapter "How to not answer a question".
The theory is, if I understand it correctly, we don't want to say "we will not waterboard" because it would tip-off the terrorists and influence their training.
This defies all logic!
Scenario 1) Romney gets elected president. At this point the terrorists open their laptops and google everything Romney. They see he is uncommitted on the waterboarding issue so they train for this possibility. We capture a terrorist and decide to waterboard him. He is trained. He is prepared. We get nothing.
Scenario 2) McCain gets elected president. At this point the terrorists open their laptops and google everything McCain. They see he says "no waterboarding" so they don't train to be waterboarded. We capture a terrorist and decide to waterboard him. What does the terrorist do? Say "Hey, your president said he is against waterboarding!!!" To which the interrogator replies "sorry he changed his mind". The terrorist is not prepared, not trained, and we get vital information.
Romney, like Hillary, will say or do anything to get elected. Some call it hedging. Some call it waffling. Some call it flip / flopping. Some call it "I changed my mind". Some might even call it lying. It truly amazes me they do not hesitate to hedge, waffle, flip / flop, change their mind, and even lie to us, their fellow Americans, in order to get elected.
But heaven forbid they get caught lying to a terrorist.
Originally Posted @ Politico.com November 28, 2007
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 4:32 AM 0 comments
Labels: Commentary, Politics
Monday, November 26, 2007
5 Reasons NOT To Impeach George Bush
The order of Presidential Succession is as follows:
1) Vice President - Richard Cheney
2) Speaker of the House of Representatives - Nancy Pelosi
3) President Pro Tempore of the Senate - Robert Byrd
4) Secretary of State - Condeleeza Rice
5) Secretary of the Treasury - Henry Paulson
In my opinion we would have to oust President Bush plus the next 5 in line for the presidency. I would be content with #6.
6)Secretary of Defense - Robert Gates
With just a little more than a year left in his presidency how much time and energy do we want to waste to find no improvement. (or make things worse)
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 9:36 PM 1 comments
Labels: Politics
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Washington Gridlock
I must say it's rather frustrating to see nothing getting done in Washington. It seems that the only thing the democrats and republicans can agree on (and are both correct about) is that the other side of the isle is playing politics with the issues.
It is also frustrating to see the leaders in Bagdad not utilizing this "window of opportunity" our brave military is giving them to reach reconciliation within their government, but being new to democracy maybe they don't know how.
My solution to all this frustration is.......when congress is coming back from yet another break......don't stop in D.C...... fly straight to Bagdad and help the Iraqi's form their government. At least then we will know why nothing is getting done in Bagdad.
Besides if grown men are going to act like little kids, they should be playing in a bigger sandbox.
(Originally posted @Politico.com November 20, 2007)
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 1:54 AM 0 comments
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Dorgan gives Favre like performance
Today Senator Byron Dorgan zipped thru Senate business in only 28 seconds. This performance beat the previous 2007 Senate record of 30 seconds set by Senator Jim Webb only last Friday. An observer said it was truly amazing to watch Senator Dorgan, a senate veteran of 15 years, outperform his younger counterpart Senator Webb, a Senate rookie.
"It was almost like watching Brent Farve dueling Tony Romo", someone was overheard saying, "with the skillful vet showing the young gun he is still on top of his game."
When asked if this record will stand, an insider said he believes the record will not hold up. I know the Democrats are reviewing the tapes of the Webb / Dorgan performances and believe there is still a couple of seconds, in both speaking speed and gavel speed, available to them.
The next attempt for the record will be Tuesday November 27 at 9am.
Don't blink or you might miss it.
(originally posted @ Politico.com Friday November 23, 2007)
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 12:38 PM 1 comments
GOP Presidential Gameplan - 2008
My proposed strategy for a republican victory in 2008:
The republicans must insure that Hillary is the democratic candidate in 2008 because she is the only democratic candidate they know they can beat.
Make sure every republican candidate keeps talking up Hillary as the democratic nominee. This will get the democrats to vote for her (because if the republicans hate her so much she must be good) and rally the republicans against her (because she is just so bad).
Have someone, anyone, plant little unconfirmable stories to get the democrats start questioning her trustworthiness and sleaziness.
The goal is to have her win the primary, but not by much.
In July there can be no more troop drawdown in Iraq. (for a yet unknown reason, but as sure as the sun rises, Bush and Chaney will invent one) Right before the democratic convention, say early-mid August have DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff ratchet-up the National Threat advisory to Orange because of "classified intelligence" which he can't discuss because of national security.
This insures Hillary leaves the democratic convention in a weak personal position (from the primary) and the democrats in a bad national security position having to promise to end the war, with all this pending doom and gloom getting ready to destroy us.
A week later the republicans elect someone (it really doesn't matter) and leave their convention beating back the terrorists with one hand and pointing at a bad weak Hillary with the other. "I am the only candidate that can keep America safe" will proclaim the republican nominee.
Now for the coup-de-gras....about 3 week before the election, say mid-October, George W. Bush takes one for the team and personally thanks Hillary for voting and supporting him on the Iraq war, noting how he couldn't have managed to successfully wage the war without her strong support. (waiving her Senate voting record for all to see)
On November 4 with democrats feeling mislead, lied to, and abandoned they fail to turn out the vote, and with a strong republican turnout against Hillary, the republicans win the election.
Remember boys and girls, you heard it here first.
(Originally Posted @ Politico.com November 21, 2007)
Posted by MarkTheMuse at 12:30 PM 0 comments