Sunday, December 16, 2007

How Dumb Can A Machine Be?

This morning I went to my local Krogers (a supermarket chain) to buy the Sunday paper. It was the only purchase I was making so I availed myself of the self service checkout. I hit the touchscreen to start my purchase, and then "swiped" my Krogers card to make sure they would know I was spending a whole dollar and fifty cents.

Per direction (from the machine) I scanned my item and placed it in the bag. With no other items to purchase I then pressed the "button" to "proceed to checkout". The machine then asked me the question "Do you have any coupons?"

I roared with laughter thinking to myself.........

"Why yes I do, I have a whole damn paper full of them."

I know the machine was only doing as it was told, and the question was really if I had a coupon to scan, but for a brief second I thought.......

"How dumb can a machine be?"

Friday, December 14, 2007

Question The Candidates - Made In The USA ?

In the presidential campaign you hear every candidate speak about American workers, American jobs going overseas, and U.S. trade policies.

So my first question is "who to believe"? I think a good place to start is find out what the candidates sell for gear. Most (but not all) candidate's websites have an online store to buy "goodies".

I checked 15 online candidates stores on December 14, 2007 and here are the results:

Good Guys:
Fred Thompson - all products made in the USA
Mitt Romney - all products proudly made in USA
Rudy Giuliani - all products made in USA
Barack Obama - All of our products are union and USA made and produced. (have uswa logo)

John Edwards - some products are union made union printed, some are union made in USA
Dennis Kucinich - Union made and Union printed in the USA. Union Made In The U.S.A. Union Made
Bill Richardson - Your one stop shopping center for quality Union Made and Union Printed

Bad Guys (and girl):
Hillary Clinton
Ron Paul
Tom Tancredo
Mike Huckabee
These four candidates have nothing to indicate made in USA or union made!

Five candidates have no store on their website - Joe Biden, John McCain, Chris Dodd, and Duncan Hunter

Now my second question is to Hillary, Ron, Tom, and Mike WHAT GIVES! It appears you talk a good game but do not put your money where your mouth is.

Muses note: This blog entry was proudly made in the USA.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Top Huckabee Aid Promises NIE Report

Today Mike Huckabee's top political advisor delivers his long awaited report on AIDS, and promises to have the NIE report on Iran completed before Armageddon.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Mitch and Harry - The Nothing Twins

The Senate is back from their Thanksgiving break, and has picked up right where they left off, doing NOTHING.
Mitch blames Harry and the democrats.
Harry blames Mitch and the republicans.
I blame them both. They both lie, spin, and tell half-truths. What we (Harry, Mitch, and me) all agree on is NOTHING IS GETTING DONE.
My solution, a civilian surge. Contact your representatives in Washington, and make these "leaders" understand that we deserve and demand better from OUR elected officials. Their childish bickering will no longer do.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

A Holiday Eggnog For Politicians

Politicians are always trying to "position" themselves on the issues. So, in the spirit of the season, here is my little gift to them. (with step-by-step instructions, because without instructions I am sure they will mess this up)

1) Remove lid from blender.

2) Add eggnog to blender.

3) Add food coloring. Add blue to be liberal, red to be conservative, or both to be moderate. Note: The more you add of either color the stronger your position.

4) Turn on blender.

PRESTO! You have just blended the perfectly positioned holiday eggnog.

Muse's Note: If you were to stupid to replace the lid on the blender before you turned it on, then your to stupid to get my vote.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Perfect Christmas Gift For Hillary

Cast Iron Waffle Iron
The perfect Christmas gift for Hillary is this waffle iron. Made of cast iron it will be safe to use when she "Turns up the Heat".
The 30" overall length will keep her at arms length form the fire as she hedges her positions on the issues.
The simple mechanical aspects of this iron allows her to practice her flip/flop as she cooks.
And best of all, she can waffle on two issues at the same time.
A Cast Iron Waffle Iron - The Perfect Christmas Gift.

Why Won't Romney Lie To A Terrorist?

This comment was posted in Jonathan Martin's blog Spin Away @ (about the Republican YouTube debate) - "McCain took Romney to task on the torture question (a reference to waterboarding), and while Mitt had a good point that you don't put everything on the table (no president has before, McCain wants to be the first) but he wasn't forceful enough on the issue, didn't cite good examples and let him take it." posted by : bigmo November 28, 2007 at 11:52 PM

What is up with this flat out dodging of a simple yes / no question by answering "don't put everything on the table". This is straight out of the Hillary playbook in the chapter "How to not answer a question".

The theory is, if I understand it correctly, we don't want to say "we will not waterboard" because it would tip-off the terrorists and influence their training.

This defies all logic!

Scenario 1) Romney gets elected president. At this point the terrorists open their laptops and google everything Romney. They see he is uncommitted on the waterboarding issue so they train for this possibility. We capture a terrorist and decide to waterboard him. He is trained. He is prepared. We get nothing.

Scenario 2) McCain gets elected president. At this point the terrorists open their laptops and google everything McCain. They see he says "no waterboarding" so they don't train to be waterboarded. We capture a terrorist and decide to waterboard him. What does the terrorist do? Say "Hey, your president said he is against waterboarding!!!" To which the interrogator replies "sorry he changed his mind". The terrorist is not prepared, not trained, and we get vital information.

Romney, like Hillary, will say or do anything to get elected. Some call it hedging. Some call it waffling. Some call it flip / flopping. Some call it "I changed my mind". Some might even call it lying. It truly amazes me they do not hesitate to hedge, waffle, flip / flop, change their mind, and even lie to us, their fellow Americans, in order to get elected.

But heaven forbid they get caught lying to a terrorist.

Originally Posted @ November 28, 2007

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Chi Chi Chi Chia and Christmas

The Christmas season is now here. When I was a young lad, back in the early 60's, the Christmas season didn't start until after thanksgiving. This seemed to be the norm for most families at that time and was certainly the case in our family. (although looking at the Sears Christmas Catalog prior to thanksgiving was allowed)

Retail businesses keep moving the holiday season earlier and earlier, first to Halloween, then to Columbus Day, and now fast approaching Labor day. Cities and towns can be seen stringing holiday lights and decorations in September. Over time our family as gotten smaller and more fragmented (by geographical distance), so the large gathering of family on thanksgiving day is no longer the "event" it once was.

So when to reasonably begin the holiday season? Thanksgiving no longer is the "cornerstone" it once was, businesses are making the season longer, and the sighting of Christmas displays in cities and towns is getting earlier.

My solution - CHIA PETS

CHIA PETS? - Perfect! Somewhere around thanksgiving, not too early in the season, and guaranteed to show up every holiday season.

Last night, for the first time this year, I saw an advertisement for Chia Pets. So for me (by my watch) the holiday season is now here. So to you all I say Happy Holidays, and leave you singing my new favorite chistmas jingle...............


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Great Quarterbacks - It's In Their Eyes

Much time is spent trying to pick the next great quarterback. They are tested on arm-strength, passing skills, foot speed, athletic ability, and even personality and intelligence tests. All this to try to find the athlete who will be the next greatest QB of all-time. Even with all this analysis, the process fails, with many quarterbacks never reaching the promise of their perceived greatness.

One must assume that with all the fore mentioned testing and analysing, the physical skills and talent are available to the athlete. How then do we find the "thing" the "it" the intangible which makes the athlete the best of the best.

It's in his eyes.

This premise first came to me watching Drew Bledsoe quarterback my beloved Patriots. I nicknamed him"sleepy eyes", because watching him come to the line of scrimmage or trying to perform under pressure there seemed to be this "emptiness" in his eyes that reached right down into his soul.

Look into a quarterbacks eyes.

In the less than great there is a blankness which gazes at you with an empty stare.

In the great ones you are pierced with the fire, the passion, the brain waves sparking as they skillfully work at their craft.

Great Quarterbacks - It's in their eyes.

Monday, November 26, 2007

5 Reasons NOT To Impeach George Bush

The order of Presidential Succession is as follows:

1) Vice President - Richard Cheney
2) Speaker of the House of Representatives - Nancy Pelosi
3) President Pro Tempore of the Senate - Robert Byrd
4) Secretary of State - Condeleeza Rice
5) Secretary of the Treasury - Henry Paulson

In my opinion we would have to oust President Bush plus the next 5 in line for the presidency. I would be content with #6.

6)Secretary of Defense - Robert Gates

With just a little more than a year left in his presidency how much time and energy do we want to waste to find no improvement. (or make things worse)

Gore Explains Nobel Prize to Bush

Today Al Gore explained to George Bush how he got the Nobel Prize.
Bush replied "NOEL prize! I love Christmas, I want a NOEL prize too!"
For fighting global warming there's a Nobel prize, for fighting everyone else.......priceless.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Mitt Romney Learns To Count

Romney counting the number of times he's flipped/flopped on the issues.

Patriots Keep Your Eye On The Prize

Well here I am getting ready for week 12 of the NFL football season. Being an rabid N.E. Patriots fan I can hardly wait for tonight's match-up against the Eagles. What I can wait for is all the pre-game discussion on every channel, by every analyst, pondering the question: "Will the Patriots go undefeated this year?"


Now don't get me wrong, I would love to see my Pats go undefeated this season, not only because it would be a great accomplishment, but I also think Don Shula and his 1972 Dolphins are getting a little long in the tooth to be doing all their "we were undefeated" celebrating every year.

What everyone should know, and every football analyst should point out, is the only thing that counts is to go undefeated after December 31. That's when the playoffs start and that is the only time being undefeated counts. After all, only the teams who have gone undefeated in the playoffs have won the Super Bowl.

Let's keep our "eye on the prize" and take an undefeated season as "icing on the cake."

Washington Gridlock

I must say it's rather frustrating to see nothing getting done in Washington. It seems that the only thing the democrats and republicans can agree on (and are both correct about) is that the other side of the isle is playing politics with the issues.

It is also frustrating to see the leaders in Bagdad not utilizing this "window of opportunity" our brave military is giving them to reach reconciliation within their government, but being new to democracy maybe they don't know how.

My solution to all this frustration is.......when congress is coming back from yet another break......don't stop in D.C...... fly straight to Bagdad and help the Iraqi's form their government. At least then we will know why nothing is getting done in Bagdad.

Besides if grown men are going to act like little kids, they should be playing in a bigger sandbox.

(Originally posted November 20, 2007)

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Dorgan gives Favre like performance

Today Senator Byron Dorgan zipped thru Senate business in only 28 seconds. This performance beat the previous 2007 Senate record of 30 seconds set by Senator Jim Webb only last Friday. An observer said it was truly amazing to watch Senator Dorgan, a senate veteran of 15 years, outperform his younger counterpart Senator Webb, a Senate rookie.

"It was almost like watching Brent Farve dueling Tony Romo", someone was overheard saying, "with the skillful vet showing the young gun he is still on top of his game."

When asked if this record will stand, an insider said he believes the record will not hold up. I know the Democrats are reviewing the tapes of the Webb / Dorgan performances and believe there is still a couple of seconds, in both speaking speed and gavel speed, available to them.

The next attempt for the record will be Tuesday November 27 at 9am.

Don't blink or you might miss it.

(originally posted @ Friday November 23, 2007)

GOP Presidential Gameplan - 2008

My proposed strategy for a republican victory in 2008:

The republicans must insure that Hillary is the democratic candidate in 2008 because she is the only democratic candidate they know they can beat.

Make sure every republican candidate keeps talking up Hillary as the democratic nominee. This will get the democrats to vote for her (because if the republicans hate her so much she must be good) and rally the republicans against her (because she is just so bad).

Have someone, anyone, plant little unconfirmable stories to get the democrats start questioning her trustworthiness and sleaziness.

The goal is to have her win the primary, but not by much.

In July there can be no more troop drawdown in Iraq. (for a yet unknown reason, but as sure as the sun rises, Bush and Chaney will invent one) Right before the democratic convention, say early-mid August have DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff ratchet-up the National Threat advisory to Orange because of "classified intelligence" which he can't discuss because of national security.

This insures Hillary leaves the democratic convention in a weak personal position (from the primary) and the democrats in a bad national security position having to promise to end the war, with all this pending doom and gloom getting ready to destroy us.

A week later the republicans elect someone (it really doesn't matter) and leave their convention beating back the terrorists with one hand and pointing at a bad weak Hillary with the other. "I am the only candidate that can keep America safe" will proclaim the republican nominee.

Now for the coup-de-gras....about 3 week before the election, say mid-October, George W. Bush takes one for the team and personally thanks Hillary for voting and supporting him on the Iraq war, noting how he couldn't have managed to successfully wage the war without her strong support. (waiving her Senate voting record for all to see)

On November 4 with democrats feeling mislead, lied to, and abandoned they fail to turn out the vote, and with a strong republican turnout against Hillary, the republicans win the election.

Remember boys and girls, you heard it here first.

(Originally Posted @ November 21, 2007)